Among Other News…

The cheewawas enjoyed a little wardrobe change today.

Moody over-the-shoulder shot.

Moody over-the-shoulder shot.

Because what you were really wanting/needing/yearning for was another photo of my ridiculously small dogs dressed up.

The one in the baseball jersey has begun to break dance like the one in the hoodie.

Joe: “It’s like we’re living in one of those really bad horror movies where the babysitter moves in and tries to become the mother.”

Come to think of it, this is not our first life-becomes-art experience. Our attempt to secure takeout Chinese food for Christmas Eve dinner was thwarted to the most bizarro degree (after a 45-minute wait the manager emerged from the kitchen, told us they were too backed up, gave us free Sprites, and refunded our money).

Heh. I said backed up.

Yep, the Beavis and Butthead references are alive and well here in our house.

So we took the only dining option that Columbus, Ohio offers at 10 pm on Christmas Eve: Speedway. (I’m not kidding here–even the 24-hour Meijer store was locked up tight.) Microwave burritos and frozen pizza, all around. Viva la fiesta.

Nastja (tucking into a bag of chips): “It’s just like those movies where the parents screw up and everyone has to eat gas station food on Christmas.”

She was right.

Better yet? We ate it again the next night.

Fortunately, teenagers and wannabe teens really never tire of gas station food.

Fast forward to present: I blew through three (3) boxes of funfetti this weekend on account of Cake Mix Cookie Bars. You’d think I’d have taken a photo before they became invisible. Honestly. I’m a work in progress.

So there we have it. Nutrition is at an all-time high and everyone has their clothes on most of the time. Come on over and hang with us.

Heheh. Hang.

Yeah. Conversational content? Freakishly intellectual. Come on over. You’ll see.



Hellooooo, 2013.

Happy New Year to everybody everywhere!

For my New Year’s gift, you can pretend I didn’t accidentally go all silent and unbloggy for entirely too freaking long. Really. Let’s all summon our best denial skills on my behalf.

THANK you! I needed that.

Remember the chihuahua/kid benders we went on in 2012? Our four add-on beating hearts are all still alive. (Hearty back-thump and smug self-satisfied grin for base-level accomplishment.)

The kids are far more interesting than the dogs.

The kids are far more interesting than the dogs.

That would be a butt dance that my first born is doing in the background. Yep, she’s the one I actually hatched.

And no, we didn’t adopt three. The little one is borrowed from time to time. That particular night, she ¬†spotted Alosa’s birthday cake and refused to leave until she got some. I can only respect a girl who puts her foot down in defense of cake rights.

The acquisition of these ridiculous sweaters was about all they accomplished this year.

The acquisition of these ridiculous sweaters was about all they accomplished this year.

2012 went out with a bang for us. In the last two months, we had:

1. Two (2) week-long trips to Latvia to finalize our adoption and mint two spanking new U.S. citizens. Hot damn.

2. Our son’s 14th (!) birthday. Hotter damn.

3. Our daughter’s 18th (!!) birthday. Even hotter damn.

4. Oh, and Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. Minor details.

Words cannot begin to describe the insanity of 2012. This year started out in such bizarro darkness, then brought so much magic.

I learned to roll with the punches, and to keep an open heart. Calamity is nothing if not incredibly interesting.

Most of all, I learned that God’s got my back. I sort of knew that before. This year, though, brought it into huge-arse plasma-screen definition for me.

(“Plasma screen” is probably way out of date now, isn’t it? Sigh.)

My kidfecta is, by and large, rockin’. They bring us, and each other, mucho happiness a whole lot of the time. A particular highlight of the holidays for me was seeing Nastja and Alosa meet their new grandparents. So kind and respectful.

My new daughter has both a big heart and desire to make a difference in the world, so we spent her birthday morning packing food boxes for the elderly at the Mid-Ohio Food Bank. I had a momentary fantasy of quitting my day job to do factory work.

[Oh ye heavenly gods who could actually mess with my gainful employment? That was a fake wish made in the glow of helping.]

Life's a party. Particularly after you've packed food boxes for the elderly.

Life’s a party, even when your little sister doesn’t think so.

Our son's new remote control care came with life lessons for you and me.

Our son’s new remote control care came with life lessons for you and me.

My New Year’s Eve was awesome. While my daughters babysat, we learned to play Skip-Bo (where has that game been all my life?) and introducing our son to the finer points of Beavis and Butthead.

Alosa: “Do you need pee pee for your butthole?”

Julia: “Actually, if you’re really going to rock Cornholio, it’s ‘tee pee’ and ‘bunghole’.”

I don’t correct the English very often, but sometimes a mother needs to step in.

My 2012 acrobatic accomplishments were rock-bottom minimal, but we did manage to squeak this move in at the very end of the year.

Woo loo loo!

Woo loo loo!

In the interest of starting 2013 off right, I hauled my butt out of bed and went to yoga this morning, thankful for the marked absence of hangover.

Here is a real-life shot of my train.

This is what the subway looked like this morning.

I did not place this prop. Swear.

May 2013 bring you everything you’ve wished for and more. And may you never leave your sparkly hat behind.