And doing. Indeed, I have some facts to share.
1. We are very much on our neighbor’s s**t list. Fortunately, it has nothing to do with the kids.
The following cheewawa barreled into the hallway the other morning and bit said neighbor’s sweet little shih tzu, who was entirely minding his own business.
This is a gal who really, really, *really* loves her dog, so it was as if I’d barreled out of our apartment myself and peed on her carpet.
We slid a note of contrition under her door tonight.
Alosha: “That is a very long apology.”
Julia: “Yes, it is.”
2. Going from one to three kids has us a-hopping.
Number of kids signed up for afternoon classes at the Fashion Institute of Technology two weeks ago: 3
Number remaining: 1
Our attempt to set up groovy urban American teenager social integration opportunities went over like a dead hamster. I reassigned el nino to basketball camp (tepidly liked, at best), and allowed la nina to quit entirely.
It is my hope that this will one day become family lore. “Remember the summer I went to fashion camp hell and Mom was so cool and let me quit?” But we’ll see on that.
Julia, by email to the FIT program directors: “An option would be for me to attend the class in her place. If I bust out the Oil of Olay right now and begin slathering, we’ll all pray for me to look 17 again. Do you think Jesus would mind taking a little time out of the winemaking and dead-raising duties to grant me this one?”
Yes, I wrote that in real life. You were afraid I was going to say that, weren’t you?
3. In real life, I also covet el nino’s new glasses.
My inner 9-to-13-yr-old boy would wear these in a heartbeat. Yours wouldn’t?
4. The following, introduced yesterday, are now but a distant memory.
Nothing too unusual: Rice Krispie treats and your classic chocolate peanut butter no bakes, inspired by the fact that I had a brain spasm and accidentally purchased two (2) gigunda boxes of Quaker Oats from Costco. As a result, I could singlehandedly smack down the cholesterol level of the better part of Queens at this moment.
5. Could someone please help me decipher the content of my kitchen wall?
Pray they can’t read the rapidly-calcifying contents of my head. That would be of no benefit whatsoever, to anyone. Trust me on this one.